


Mourning

by AnimeBasketballer



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Canonical Character Death, F/F, Hints at Gamkar but not really???, rosemary
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-28
Updated: 2014-10-28
Packaged: 2018-02-22 23:59:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,095
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2526446
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnimeBasketballer/pseuds/AnimeBasketballer
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Your name is Rose Lalonde and you are coming apart at the seams.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Mourning

You mourn them all. Every single one of them. Each of those who died are held in a special place in your heart. You feel it’s your place. You were left alive after all, it’s only right that you should remember them. Someone has to.

You mourn for Jake, who you’ve only seen once before. You didn’t know him well, but you saw he was passionate. Roxy told you of him, how he was a ‘raging jerk-bag, but he was their raging jerk-bag’.  She cried as she told you about him. You felt selfish when you made no effort to dry her tears. You’re too wrapped up in your own thoughts to comfort anyone else.

You mourn for Jane too. You never saw Jane when she wasn’t under mind control. You feel sorry for her nonetheless. From what Roxy told you she seemed pleasant to be around. Jane was her best friend. She practically falls apart while she talks about her. The guilt inside you piles up.

You mourn for Jade. Jade who was always joyful. Jade who was your silly, quirky friend with a vocabulary more vulgar than a sailor. Jade who always know too much, despite you yourself being the seer. In some ways Jade was the life of the group; along with John you suppose. You and Dave were both so sarcastic, and almost cynical at times. Those two were happier than you were, well  they seemed it at least. You have no idea where John is now. He could be dead as well, for all you know.

You mourn for Karkat. You’d grown to like his hot temper in the time you’d known him. The way every insult he’d spit out was an innuendo. The way most of the innuendo was a complete accident. You mourn his friendship with Dave and how they might not ever see each other again. Not the right versions of each other anyway. You know you’ll miss ‘borrowing’ his romance novels.  You also know how selfish that is. You should care about him, not what he did for you. You mentally flinch, thinking about how painful his death must have been. Drowning in lava doesn’t sound pleasant. And it doesn’t sound quick either.

You mourn for Terezi.  You didn’t see if she died for sure, but you assume the other seer has joined her sister now. Maybe it’s for the best. She had been so depressed recently, her situation with Gamzee pulling her down a steep path that could only end with one of them dead. As it happened it was both of them. You don’t want to think like that. You wish she was still alive, even if everything that was keeping her together has gone. You suppose her death was partially your fault. You tried your best, but you don’t think a drunk human was the best contender to be an auspistice for such a violent kismesitude.

You don’t mourn for Gamzee: he had it coming. That clown asshole deserved everything he got.  You heard this wasn’t the first time he’d killed one of his friends. You’d thought Karkat was off limits to him though, you thought they were supposed to care about  each other. You thought there was some kind of clause in their relationship that said they would protect each other. You guess you were wrong. You wish Gamzee had been killed back on the meteor. Then maybe at least one more person would have lived.

You do, however, mourn Kanaya. Oh God, _Kanaya_. How ironic it is that you are a hero of light, yet you couldn’t save the light of your life. You wish you had at least tried, but there was nothing you could do. There’s nothing left of her. She’s dust. You suppose that’s ironic as well, she was her species equivalent of a vampire after all. It only fits that light would turn her to dust. She loved the light so much. Maybe that’s why she was drawn to you. It is certainly not a stretch to say you were in love with her. You love- loved everything about her: her smile, her… to put it as a certain strider might say, ‘badassery’.  You assume she felt the same to you.  She was so graceful as she sliced Gamzee in half. You  felt so much admiration at that moment. You wish you could have said goodbye. You wish you could have died alongside her.

Perhaps most of all though, you mourn Dave. Your ectobrother’s death… well it was one you thought you would never have to experience. He was supposed to be immortal. So were Jade, Jake and Jane… but Dave’s hit harder because- Because Dave was a time player; maybe. Because Dave always fixed everything. Because Dave had died so many times, but he had never died. Or maybe it was because he was family, and hearing of his death had made you relive your mother’s a hundred times over. You’d lived with Dave on a meteor for three years, and you’d known him for much longer. Dave was like a brother, before you knew he was literally a brother. His ridiculous idolisation of his bro, and terrible love for irony made him… charming in a way? His lack of self-esteem had always saddened you, and you strived to help him; in your round about, annoying way. Maybe you should have done more. You feel like you weren’t much help, but  you did at least try. And you loved him. You loved him like a friend. You loved him like a brother. And right now, you are proud of him. You miss him so much but the only thing that tops your grief is how proud you are. He’d always wanted to be a hero: and he had died one. You bet his Bro would be proud of him too.

You have no idea what happened to Dirk. Roxy is convinced he’s alive. She’s holding you know; still crying. You’re crying too. Neither of you can help it, you’ve lost so much in just a few hours. You know it’s just as hard for her, she lost two of her best friends. You wish you could think of her, and stop being so god damn selfish. But you can’t, you’re too wrapped up in thinking about Karkat, Jade, Kanaya, _Dave,_ to be anything but thoughtless towards her.

Your name is Rose Lalonde, and you are coming apart at the seams. Your friends are dead and your world is falling apart around you.

What will you do?


End file.
